I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
