The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Randomize
