i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
