This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like iHOP with fire
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize