Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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