saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
