the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
