omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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