I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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