Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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