I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We are two peas in an std pod
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
