Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
