There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
