Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
