How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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