Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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