3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
