i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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