I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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