Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
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I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
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You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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