just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
