my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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