He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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