You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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