Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
