we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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