So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
