Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
