Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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