Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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