it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
