I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
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I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
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I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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