Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Someone shit on the floor
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
