normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
