Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
