Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
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It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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