Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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