I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
