Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
