I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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