it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
