U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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