so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
