Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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