saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
