she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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