he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
