Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
