I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I will be naked everywhere
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i out mim tonsoeep
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
