I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
