the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
They took my balls.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
