all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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