We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
