So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She even gives head with a lisp.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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