Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
