I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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