im six kinds of drunk right now
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
