I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Are my feet made of real feet?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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