just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize