Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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