the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I wear drunk well.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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