"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
